Hi, my name is Tonia.

Hi, my name is Tonia. I am 32 years old, never married, no children, never pregnant, my best friend is my cat Ferrell, I work a full time job, I am single, abstinent, and a pescatarian.

Now that the labels are out of the way.

This blog is about how I finally started paying attention to myself.

Ok, so at the age of 32, life had just gotten real for me. Not that it wasn’t real before or anything. I think now the only difference is, I am actually paying attention to what is going on around me. I turned 32 in September 2016, and before that I had been kind of just going with the flow of things for most of my adult life. If something happened, GREAT, if it didn’t happen, EVEN BETTER. I mean why make choices when everything would just work itself out anyway? Well let’s just say that way of thinking landed me in a slew of screwed up relationships and really bad friendships.

So on my 32nd birthday I decided to start paying attention. My word for this year is INTENTIONAL. I would be intentional in my choices, friends, family, in my life. I would no longer just go with the flow. I would pay attention.

Once I started paying attention I noticed so much. For starters liquor makes my face break out with acne. I had tried every type of acne treatment on the market and even some prescribed to have no positive results. So, for reasons that I will mention later, I decided to stop drinking liquor (surprisingly, white wine doesn’t have a negative impact on my skin though). Behold no more adult acne. Now my skin care routine is simple. Wash my face before bed with black soap and water, add moisturizer. Wash my face in the morning with light facial scrub and water, add moisturizer. Who knew all those years of binge drinking would be the reason for all those acne scars and huge pimples.

The second thing I learned when I started paying attention to me was that breathing helps me live better. Basically from the time I was 17 until my 32nd Birthday I had been holding my breath. It’s a wonder I hadn’t passed out from lack of oxygen. So now I make sure I am sitting up straight and breathing deep and with purpose. No more quick breathing for me.

The third but definitely not the last thing I have learned is that “you really are the company you keep”. My closest friends were a representation of me. In order for us to be as close as we were we had to have some of the same interests, right? Drinking, partying, cursing, all those things that I didn’t want to be, labels I had become simply to have a better relationship with my “friends”. I mean who wants to sit at home on a Saturday night alone?

I bet you are probably wondering, why am I sharing all of this? Well my new friends say that I should share my life through a blog. After them telling me this a few times over, I have finally decided to just go for it.

I mean why not?

Published by BrwnSknSwty

Traveling through words on a road called life, reading the map backwards, and still finding my purpose :-) <3 Follow me on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter @brwnsknswty

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5 Comments

  1. Wow, I use to hold my breath too, even in my sleep. For several reasons, I’m forced to take notice of my oxygen intake now. Over the last few years I have slipped into some bad habits and it’s TRUE things will begin to manifest on the outside. It’s good to really take notice “stay woke” on all aspects of life. I am currently taking inventory once again. I hold myself accountable for “going with the flow” too.
    Thank you for sharing. It somehow reduces the weight on your shoulder when you know others can honestly relate.
    It was very nice to meet you…again:-).

    Like

    1. 😊 it’s nice to meet you again. It is very imperative that we are constantly taking inventory of our friends and situations, they do affect us. If we aren’t paying attention we will end up in friendships or situations that we aren’t comfortable with. Some may even be difficult to get out of.

      Like

  2. That is sooo true about the company you keep representing you! Some of us grow, some don’t. It’s not anything personal but time cannot be replaced. Spending it with people who don’t inspire or challenge us is out of the question.

    Liked by 1 person

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