Spiritual Writing

Confused Often

Ok I said this blog would be me being honest and vulnerable. If I was going to be a blogger I would blog my feelings and I plan to stick to that vow to myself. So here goes.

I don’t know what I’m doing. No, I’m not talking about the blog, I’m talking life.

I mean I wake up and hope today is the day something that I actually planned to happen really happens. It hardly ever does! Then I go back to bed every night , have these awesome dreams of goals being accomplished and mountains being moved, and I wake up and hope something that I actually plan to happen, happens. It’s a cycle and I try so hard not to get lost in this cycle. I don’t want to be that 33 year old Women that’s like o well this must be happiness, might as well be happy. I mean for crying out loud I have a bullet journal and a Cat!!! I must be doing something right!

I mean (deep breath) I am blessed, but I do get discouraged. I lose hope. I wonder if what I’m doing is right. Is this it? Did I pray enough today? Did I smile enough? Was I nice to as many people as I could have been? Why am I still waiting for I don’t even know what?

I hear you saying “stop worrying Tonia”, is that even possible?

Well, show me how to and I’ll follow your example, because I have no clue how to do this.

2 Samuel 22:33

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