I found it hard for my brain to grasp the concept of being still and accepting the silence.
A moment of silence and my thoughts would begin to tick off the never ending to do list in my head. It’s as if my mind was thinking, “finally a moment to think about all the things I still have to do”.
I had attempted on numerous occasions to quiet my mind for a 60 second stretch. This may seem like a short period of time for some, but for me it seemed like forever. At the moment my mind would become clear, I would start thinking of some task that I had yet to complete.
A few months ago during a small group meeting, we were asked to pick a topic that we struggle with. We drafted a few common topics among ourselves and of those the topic of “Be Still” jumped out at me.
I wanted and needed to write about this topic. The thought of being still in order to wait and hear from God, didn’t seem possible to me. How can one be still in a world that moves faster and faster each second that ticks away? How can I be still when I have so much to do?
That night, as soon as I got home from small group, I did what I always do when faced with a writing deadline. I opened my laptop, waited for the words that never came, closed my laptop, and went and threw a load of clothes into the washing machine. I couldn’t write about being still when I still had so much to do. My train of thought was that once I caught up on a few chores, then I could focus enough to write a short post on being still. The next week when I arrived at the small group, I was still trying to think of something insightful to say about being still.
Even after that week of focusing on being still, it took me sometime to actually be intentional about my silent time.
I am now aware of the fact that each of us has different ways in which we connect with God. Some of us meditate, some walk in nature and some sing. For me being still means clearing my mind enough to write. For me writing is a form of being still. In the moment that I pause and think of what to write next is when my mind is clear and ready to receive. So I guess I found that silence, that quiet place within me that allows me to connect to God. That moment of silence, in between words, that lets me hear and talk with him.