So I cut my locs!
Although It wasn’t a spontaneous decision (I actually had been thinking of cutting them for the past year or so), I am feeling a little bit emotional. I loved my locs! To me they were absolutely gorgeous. Full and lengthy, they framed my face well, and I can only remember a very small number of bad hair days. I had to cut them though. My work requires me to pull my hair up into a bun almost daily, and the stress was causing my edges to thin out, and I was starting to get headaches from all the pulling. So bye bye long and gorgeous locs.
When I finally got up the courage, I called my Loctician, Kayla, and made the loc cutting appointment. Kayla, already knew that I was struggling with whether or not to cut my hair, so she didn’t try to convince me otherwise. She just made the appointment. The day of my hair appointment started off horribly. I overslept for work, and when I finally got to work it turned out to be by far one of the most stressful work days ever. I can’t go into too much detail, but just know every thing in me wanted to cancel my hair appointment, go home, crawl in my bed and cry.
I couldn’t call her and cancel though. I needed to cut my hair.
Looking back over it now, I see how symbolic my hair cutting had became for me. Since I began loc-ing my hair in January 2017, so much has happened. Over the last three years I’ve moved four times, purchased a home, dealt with a ton of emotional baggage, said good bye to some really awesome people, and decided whether or not I wanted to deploy overseas. I’ve made a ton of decisions that will, and are currently, affecting my life. I know I haven’t made any bad decisions over the last three years. I know I’ve made the best decisions over the last three years.
After she cut my hair, Kayla asked how I liked it. My first response was “they feel so much lighter”. What a choice of words!, AND I was so right. Every decision, every move, every thought I have had over the last three years, I feel a sense of lightness with them. Long gone are the heavy thoughts and heavy chains of my past. I no longer feel conflicted or confused. I feel so much lighter. Not just because I cut my locs, but because now when I make a decision, I am making it from a place of patience and love for me.